Christmas celebration

And all around the nation

Won't you stay with me tonight cause

I'm running out of fight

and the pagentry is such a bore



Carolers are singing

registers Ka-chinging

And the presents are in place

but I'd rather eat some mace

'cause the eggnog always makes me sick



You know how the story goes

you've seen it all before

That man is so obese that he can't get out the door



Christmas to perfection

I'm begging for some action

and the ringing in my ears

is the sound of Christmas cheer

and they've knocked me screaming overboard